Ninjaman – Superstar

1988, Witty

Oh damn check out that bicep and that gold chain. Mans lookin crazy. And you can see him growing into his signature neck posture where he looks like any turtle or ostrich:

Ninjaman circa 1990

What’s wrong with him? Anyway this record showcases one of a very long list of musical innovations that must have blown everyone’s mind in Jamaica in the 80s, such as the Roots Radics style, Sleng Teng, the Barry G vs. Rodigan radio clash, and Tiger (spot him in the album cover!). In this case it’s Ninjaman’s signature “stuttering” style (which is at least as iconic as his neck posture), where he plays a little game of ‘how late can I land my notes and still get away with it’. Ninja wastes no time showing off the concept in Take Time To Know Her, but it’s half-assed and I shall come back to it later; for now Magnificent is the real self-introduction for Ninjaman. Magnificent is a full-energy anthem tune with seemingly unending lyrics, flung in at least three brand new deejay styles, including but not limited to the Ninja Man Stutter.

Vineyard a vineyard, garden a garde de de de den
Wicked a wicked, heathen a heathe the the the then
Chi Ninjaman is like a bull in a pe pe pen

And all upon a very meek sounding riddim by Witty/Firehouse/Steely+Clevie, couldn’t tell you the riddim name but it’s the one from Horse Doctor by Slungie Ranks anyway. Let’s just call it the Horse Doctor Riddim. Exactly one chord for the whole cut, skanked on every offbeat where the keys are given speaker time, with altogether far too much sustain for 1988. But of course it works, and therein lies the moral that musical rules are worth breaking.

Anyway, Take Time To Know Her drops the ball out the gate by featuring Tinga Stewart in a role as lackluster as it is uncredited, paired with Ninja rehashing his slack hit Wrenking Meat. A rare skippable tune in a pre-1990 reggae record. Thankfully the rest of the record is stellar enough to warrant a CRUCIAL rating. However, nothing else in his discography could even catch a VERY GOOD. This is especially tragic as Ninjaman is a truly magical and Magnificent vocalist with not only two big Fat lips full of original musical style, two big Fat biceps full of lean muscle, one big Fat eyebrow that goes from ‘wan said taedha’*, and one big Fat neck that cranes like a crane, but also infinite lyrics and the rare talent to be able to actually freestyle a real tune in a creative and confident manner in a studio take. For those not aware, dancehall tunes are usually a framework of about 1 minute of content that gets recycled and reworked on the fly in any given take – compare different cuts of the same tune (e.g., dubplates) to get an idea of how the structure is flexible. And then check out 0:53 – 1:09 in Batchelor to see how Ninjaman can even fling that flexibility into a hook:

Have one gold ring with gold chain just fi match it
Bachelor bachelor bachelor, no gyal no want me
Bachelor bachelor bachelor, me live alone
Bachelor bachelor bachelor, no want nobody
Bachelor bachelor, bachelor me, li li li li-
Bachelor bachelor, bachelor bachelelelelor
Bachelor bachelor, you know me live alone now
To live bachelor live you home it haffi criss

This is also back in the days when even an artist like Ninjaman had interesting topics to chat about. I said the same thing about Super Cat previously, but if you didn’t know, there is actually more to Ninjaman than guns, pussy, clash, and God. On this record we have: woman, clash, bachelor life, pussy, God, clash, dance, traffic light, and whatever Ganoose is about, I have no idea. Well this list is not that much more impressive than his later work, but at least you can hear Ninjaman get his road rules totally wrong in Don’t Beat The Amber. But it’s the thought that counts, and I believe his heart is in the right place. It did not go unnoticed that Lone Ranger’s LP “Learn To Drive” is conspicuously missing from the shelf behind him in the album cover.

*Pitcairn creole for ‘one side to [the] other’

My picks: Magnificent, Batchelor, Commin In Mad, Don’t Beat The Amber
Bim count: 0 (but there is one General Trees-style ‘boop’)